PS：There is no need to hold a translator to translate, because there is a translator behind.（不需要捧著翻譯來翻譯，因?yàn)楹竺嬗蟹g。）

——————————

Ren Xin Yao, or Ren Jiahui? What happened then? Why am I called Ren Xinyao instead of Ren Jiahui? How did my parents get my name through competition?

Or, my name didn't come through competition? "I don't know this." Grandma died of a heart attack when I was four or five years old. Was it a coincidence that my mother went to a psychiatric hospital when I was five or six years old, or what? Why is mother insane? Because of what?

"My mother gave birth to me, my mother didn't give birth to me, that is, before I was born, my mother's spirit was not so normal. So ... "

I'm a disaster. Take my grandmother for example. My grandmother died of a heart attack when I was four or five years old. My mother went to a mental hospital after my grandmother (with a high probability). My grandfather suffered from cerebral thrombosis and cerebral infarction in 2019. Can't move. You have to eat through a tube. Grandma (pro) is in hospital, there is no news, and I don't know whether she is alive or dead. "I'm afraid' what survived' is the best way to describe me."

任xy，還是，任jh？

當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么？

我為什么會(huì)叫任芯瑤，而不是任佳慧？

當(dāng)初父親母親是怎么通過競(jìng)爭(zhēng)來取得我的名字？

還是說，我的名字沒有通過競(jìng)爭(zhēng)而來？

“這點(diǎn)，我無從得知”

奶奶是我四五歲的時(shí)候因?yàn)樾呐K病發(fā)作而逝

母親在我五六歲的時(shí)候去的精神科醫(yī)院

是巧合，還是什么？母親為什么精神不正常？是因?yàn)槭裁矗?/p>

“母親生下我，也就是我未出生之前，精神就不咋正常。所以……”

我是個(gè)災(zāi)星

就拿奶奶來說

奶奶在我四五歲的時(shí)候因心臟病去世

母親在奶奶后去的精神科醫(yī)院（大概率是這樣）

爺爺在2019年，因?yàn)槟X血栓，腦梗。不能走，靠管子進(jìn)食。

姥姥（親）住院，沒有消息，不知道生死

“不配活，不應(yīng)活”

“茍延殘喘的東西”

恐怕最用來形容我了吧？

PS：Don't doubt whether what I said is true or not. These things are true.（不要懷疑我說的是真是假。這些事情是真的。）

“Sometimes I really want to die! But I dare not do it.”（有時(shí)候真的想死！但是我不敢這么做。）

“只希望自己可以活的久遠(yuǎn)一些——可這基本不可能了?！?/p>

“真怕有一天控制不住拿把鋒利的東西就往致命位置砍了。”

“不知道自己是否可以活到成年。”

“我是否可以活到老呢？”

PS：如果我真的一兩年一兩年的不在線，請(qǐng)忘了我吧，就當(dāng)沒有我這個(gè)人。

“最后，讀者身心健康，不要像我一樣，頹廢不堪?！?/p>

以上。2022.11.21.22:17